Very Amateur

Aha!!!

2006-12-28T06:48:00.000-08:00

...I am actually back, and it only took me a couple weeks! We have moved into our new home - still lots to put away etc, and need to get a few things from the old place and do some clean up, but for all intensive purposes, here we are!!

Mark has been a little down, of course the day after we closed on the house (Dec. 15th) he was laid off from work (slow season - been there done that) so pretty scary with a nice big mortgage hanging over your head. He has been bored out of his mind -- not quite bored enough to actually finish up at the old place, or do much here! But, I tried the empathy for a couple days ** hey!! a couple days is all I can do without freaking out!!** Now am pretty much resigned to the fact that if I want everything done, it will be on my off time, or with his help at my request (bitching). Anyway, such is life!

Taking it easy right now, just doing some laundry and having a cup of coffee. The kids are out of school for the holidays, and they and their dad are still sleeping, so enjoying some quite time.

I need to run -- found my address book, and need to call my mother badly....it's been awhile, OK! It's been WAY to long. I'll update on her later........suffice to say for now, that it is hard for me to talk to her - very hard emotionally - but, that's not any excuse.....so going to call her now!

T

WOW

2006-12-14T07:02:00.000-08:00

.....am packing (gross) but had to stop. I found this note, written to me by my husband years ago. Felt compelled to post it here - perhaps if (when) I get upset with the man, I will have something to remind me that I could have it ever so much worse...

Wow ....

2006-12-10T07:42:00.000-08:00

..... it has been over 7 months!! Talk about procrastinating huh? Guess it's time for a little update on my life -- if you care -- if not, what are you doing on my blog in the first place??

Lets see, still married, still have four kids, two dogs and a partridge in a pear tree.

My oldest son Mark Jr. was married to Jamie on June 4th of this year.

I'm nice and chunky again -- haven't gained back all the weight, but not to far from it. BUT, you know what??? LIFE GOES ON! I am going to get back to eating right and exercising though, because I know that it can and does make a difference.

Here is something mightily cool: Mark and I are buying a house. We close on Friday the 15th - only 5 days away. I will post a picture whenever I get one....probably be awhile, but I am pretty excited. Needed to pack all weekend, but at work today, and the last two days Mark and I were both home sick with the flu -- spend 42 of the last 48 hours in bed - still a little queasy, but overall, feeling much better.

I will be back soon -- much sooner than 7+ months anyway!

T

Pissed off...

2006-05-04T10:04:00.000-07:00

...at the world today. Need to vent, may as well do it here. This is my first of 3 days off - think that I have mentioned that I work 4 10 hour shifts, then have 3 days off. Now get to start my 'maid' job........you know, the one......no pay, all day........just doing everything that no one else does. I live with 6 people - 4 children aged 20-15 and my husband. So, things SHOULD be getting done fairly easily around here huh? Yeah right. My husband decided he just couldn't get out of bed for work (I understand this - we all have those days). HOWEVER, it is rent week, he being the biggest bread winner by far, misses out on over $200 when he misses a day. We pay $749 if our rent is paid on time (by today) or our regular rent of $849 plus $25 on the 5th, with $5 per day added until it is paid. Guess what won't be paid today?? So might as well add almost $200 by the time we pay it next week. Also take into account that yesterday, my oldest was off from work, my second oldest didn't go to work until 3 p.m., my 3rd stayed home from school to work on a paper he was behind on and didn't have to work either, the youngest stayed home with an upset stomach. I worked from 3:30 a.m. to 1:30 p.m. It rained, and the basement started to take on water.....NO ONE could call the maintenance man........or let their father know, who by the way slept until I got home. My daughter did one load of laundry.......there were clothes in the dryer, can't hang them up, because.....well......loading the washer with a load is quite a bit of work as it is.....and don't forget, had to put same clothes in the dryer. I went to bed exhausted at around 9:30 last night. Not one dish was touched........well, guess they were touched, got dirty some how didn't they? 2 bags of trash were piled up in the kitchen. The laundry that was put into the dryer wasn't even completely dried........always love that nice musty smell on your clothes right?? Dust or vacuum??......forget it!!.........we can't even walk the dogs without complaining. What the hell??? So, gosh, it's Mom's day off........we'll just let her catch up 2 loads of 'clean' laundry, so she can actually start tackleing the laundry that needs done, take out all the trash, do the dishes that she didn't dirty.........and anything else that needs done. I just don't understand why thing are like this.... 5 out of 6 of us are legal adults!!! I can't even talk to them right now.......... and guess who is the bitchy one??!! OK.........we all feel unappreicated sometimes........guess it's just my turn! I'm having a Calgon take me away moment........moment??.....on second thought..........I'm having a Calgon life! Lord help me to count the blessings I DO have. T

W.I.

2006-04-07T12:45:00.000-07:00

Well -- WI wasn't bad today, down 2.2 so at 167.8 now. Hate that I back-tracked for a couple weeks, but am thankful that I am heading back in the right direction now. Still up 3 lbs from my lowest weight....but know I will get there and beyond. Being out of town this weekend will pose some challenges, but hoping that I am strong enough to make the best decisions possible.

Aren't they sweet...

2006-04-06T20:04:00.000-07:00

Just wanted to share a couple photos of my son Mark Jr. and his beautiful fiance Jamie. They are going to be married on June 4th. These pictures were taken last weekend. Wow....they do grow up way to quickly!! This weekend is Jamie's bridal shower and Ashley and I will be traveling to Wichita, KS to attend. I am looking forward to it for a number of reasons, of course to celebrate the coming of their wedding, but also to have a little time away, and hopefully some quality mother / daughter time with Ashley. Mark and Jamie will be getting married in Wichita, but will be getting an apartment here in Kansas City, MO after they are married. Will be strange to have the first born leaving the nest....but guess it is inevitable -- very happy they will be close!!

I have strayed from my WW for a couple weeks (yes...absolutely a huge mistake...) but have been back on program all week. I did not post last week, but have to admit to a 5.2 lb gain!! Tomorrow should be down at least a little, was pretty darn 'good' all week. Will be back tomorrow to let you all know how it goes -- Wish me some luck! T

How come....

2006-03-23T14:07:00.000-08:00

...shit happens?? I know......dumb question, it just does. Well, I guess I am a day earlier than usual for my post -- but will post WI tomorrow. Today, I just feel like writing. What better way to get things off your chest / out in the open / clear the air and so on and so forth.

Let me begin by doing a little recap of how my life has been going lately. Last WI, I did really well -- lost 1.4 -- being in a plateau, that was really good. Guess what I did after losing 1.4 (let me rephrase -- after FINALLY having a halfway decent loss...). I totally sabotaged myself! I ate like a pig -- compared to the way I usually eat. Got stressed out, and didn't exercise all week. Of course I will have a big gain tomorrow -- but who can complain about that?? I did it to myself!

A couple weekends ago, my daughter decided to stay out all night, and then tell lie after lie. Hmmm, maybe your relationship isn't what you thought it was ?? She is 19, and grown....but guess a mother always worries. Especially when you think you have such wonderful communication with you children (yeah - right!!). So, I was very upset with her for about 4 days. Never did get an apology, or the truth. Anyway, took me those several days to finally get over the "poor me" "my feelings are hurt" and realize that something was up with her. That was what was important, the lies/hurt were just symptons, doesn't make you feel any better, but have to understand that something made these things happen. Anyway.......finally had a talk with her. Things seem a little better, guess we'll see.

I am just a huge stickler for being lied to. It is the one thing I hate above all others. I am one of those people that are freaky about it.....when someone has to lie about something small and insignificant, then what else are they lying about??

Today, a good friend lied to me. The thing that bothers me is that it was over something that didn't matter. So, now I am stuck wondering what else has been lied about? I understand 'little white lies' that are meant to NOT hurt feelings -- telling someone that a bad haircut looks good would be a good example of that. I just find myself wondering if there is really such a thing as complete trust? Sadly, I think not. Oh well........so much for "being totally honest with one another."

Well.........got things that need doing........just upset today......ready for a vacation from my life!!
Thanks for listening :)

T

Well...

2006-03-17T08:58:00.000-08:00

lost 1.4 -- is the plateau broken?? That remains to be seen. Lost 2 lbs 6 weeks ago.... and then was back to the up/down thing. Hoping that I am on the right track though. I did earn 17 activity points, and didn't eat any of them.......did eat all flex except 1. Was going to try the Wendie plan, but think I will stick to this (it is pretty close to WP) and see what next week brings.

11/11 194.0

11/15 191.2

11/23 187.2

11/29 186.8

12/09 182.6

12/16 180.4

12/23 177.0

12/30 175.8

01/06 174.6

01/13 173.8

01/20 169.0

01/27 168.0

02/03 168.4

02/10 166.4

02/17 166.8

02/24 166.0

03/03 165.4

03/10 166.2

03/17 164.8

So........will just keep on keepin on..........8 away from 30 total lbs gone.........hope I am over that next week!!

I'm green...

2006-03-10T08:25:00.000-08:00

...with envy over the woman in front of me at WW that lost 4.6 lbs!!! I am up .8 this week -- UGH!!!!! I am now in week 8 of this plateau. I talked a little bit to one of the women there, and got a sheet on plateaus. This week I will : DRINK *LOTS* OF WATER and EARN ACTIVITY POINTS but NOT trade them in for points. Going to stick only to my daily points allowance, and flex points and see what happens. I earn around 3 activity points per day at least 4 days per week, and have been switching them for food. Not this week!!

11/11 194

11/15 191.2

11/23 187.2

11/29 186.8

12/09 182.6

12/16 180.4

12/23 177.0

12/30 175.8

01/06 174.6

01/13 173.8

01/20 169.0

01/27 168.0

02/03 168.4

02/10 166.4

02/17 166.8

02/24 166.0

03/03 165.4

03/10 166.2

I WILL do this!! I can beat it! Going to stick to the plan Stan!

Wedding Gown Weekend

2006-03-06T08:35:00.000-08:00

My future daughter in-law came up this past weekend to shop for her wedding gown. We actually found a beautiful dress - it is perfect for her!! I felt badly because her mother chose to not come along, and really missed out. BUT, I am the lucky one, I got her all to myself! She and my son are getting married on June 4th in Wichita, KS. I will certainly post pictures when the event has come and gone. She says she is lucky to have us for a family, in reality, she is ALREADY a part of our family, and we love her like one of our own. My son has good taste (get's that from his mother!!).

On this journey...

2006-03-03T08:37:00.000-08:00

...I am learning patience!! I lost .6 this week -- but seeing how this has been a crappy plateau, will certainly take it!! I do my WAP 3 mile w/3lb weights, and have added the Ab Lounge 2. So even though the scales are being stubborn, can see some progress :)

11/11 194

11/15 191.2

11/23 187.2

11/29 186.8

12/09 182.6

12/16 180.4

12/23 177.0

12/30 175.8

01/05 174.6

01/13 173.8

01/20 169.0

01/27 168.0

02/03 168.4

02/10 166.4

02/17 166.8

02/24 166.0

03/03 165.4

28.6 down!!! Can't wait to hit 30 lbs gone:)

It's That...

2006-02-24T18:32:00.000-08:00

...time again. Thank God for a loss this week, was .8, not quite a pound...but with this plateau I have been on, will take any loss! At 166, am lower than I have been in a long time -- 28 gone. This past week I actually ate more, and exercised less....sounds strange when a person wants to lose, but needed to get my metabolism going, and it seemed to work......so whatever works!!

11/11 194

11/15 191.2

11/23 187.2

11/29 186.8

12/09 182.6

12/16 180.4

12/23 177.0

12/30 175.8

01/06 174.6

01/13 173.8

01/20 169.0

01/27 168.0

02/03 168.4

02/10 166.4

02/17 166.8

02/24 166.0

28 Gone, 36 to go -- I will do this!!

UGH

2006-02-17T08:21:00.000-08:00

Well.......another .4 gain. Can you say plateau?? My leader Becky (why BTW is awesome!!) asked if I had been at/around this weight before....she confirmed for me that sometimes your body gets comfortable at a weight, and sort of gets stuck in a rut......knew it...but I'll keep plugging away. I shall overcome. : )

11/11 194.0

11/15 191.2

11/23 187.2

11/29 186.8

12/08 182.6

12/16 180.4

12/23 177.0

12/30 175.8

01/06 174.6

01/13 173.8

01/20 169.0

01/27 168.0

02/03 168.4

02/10 166.4

02/17 166.8

Like I said...........I'm gonna beat this!! I do get in at least 15 miles a week in working out, and also use 3lb weights now. Can truly say that I look MUCH better.........so maybe some of that damn weight is the good thing, known as muscle??

Went down...

2006-02-10T11:54:00.000-08:00

...this week, so headed back in the right direction. Lost 2 lbs. Total of 27.6 gone -- 36.4 to go! I can do it :)

11/11 194.2

11/15 191.2

11/23 187.2

11/29 186.8

12/09 182.6

12/16 180.4

12/23 177.0

12/30 175.8

01/06 174.6

01/13 173.8

01/20 169.0

01/27 168.0

02/03 168.4

02/10 166.4

Well........had to happen

2006-02-03T09:18:00.000-08:00

my first gain! But.......I am not upset with it. I had a couple days where I was really not on program. Also, TOM of month very near, and only exercised 4 days last week. I have moved up to the 3 mile WAP, so proud of that! I am going for working out everyday this week - at least 6 days if I need a day off from it. My gain was only .4, so......not to bad at all!! Come on 30 lbs!!! I'm this I-I close!!!

11/11 194.0

11/15 191.2

11/23 187.2

11/29 186.8

12/09 182.6

12/16 180.4

12/23 177.0

12/30 175.8

01/06 174.6

01/13 173.8

01/20 169.0

01/27 168.0

02/03 168.4

Still down a total of 25.6!!!! Next mini goal: 30 lbs gone!!! I can do this!!! I will do this!!!

Here are a couple .....

2006-01-29T07:33:00.000-08:00

blogs that I really enjoy:

http://oldwater.blogspot.com/

http://www.gigglechick.com/erin/blog/index.php

The first one is some very interesting art by a very neat guy. The second is a wonderful humorous sight by a very funny lady! Just thought they were worth sharing!

OKAY - OKAY - OKAY - OKAY....

2006-01-29T04:47:00.000-08:00

...Just a LITTLE wired this morning. Almost at the bottom of my 24 oz. cup of coffee. I am at work. Not much going on at the moment........felt like writing, so here I am. *Can't tell you what this post will be about....warning.....may be BORING! OK.....you have been warned.

It seems that in the past few months that I have pretty well devoted my blog to my WW journey, and not even the entire journey....pretty much just my weigh ins. I guess that for anyone just paying a casual visit to my blog, it is probably pretty boring. It keeps me accountable, this along with the WW meetings, and journalizing, and fitday.com.....lol....gee do I have enough accountability?? Anyway, at 26 lbs lighter, whatever works right?

A life-style change is never easy.......and there are some crazy things that we go through while attempting to make this change. At least, I do -- guess I should speak only for myself, and if you can relate.........that's a good thing--means I am somewhat normal! (unless you're some weird freak, and we won't even open that can of worms). Here is an example of some of my craziness:
On Friday morning I weighed in, was happy with a pound loss, lost 4.8 lbs the previous week, so definitely did not expect a big loss, if any. OK.......here is the craziness (deja vu): After being happy with my WI, my son, my daughter, and I.....go to IHOP for brunch!! I was suddenly the weight watcher from hell! Had 2 eggs over easy, 2 sausage links, 3 slices of bacon, hashbrowns, and 5 (yes 5!!!) pancakes drowned in maple syrup. What the hell?? Why would a person who is working on getting in shape, doing fairly well at it sabotage themselves this way?? That is the million dollar question! Needless to say, used all my flexpoints for the week (ok.....admit it, I went over by 1!). I can live through the rest of the week without flex points, the point is I have no idea what possessed me to do such a thing? Do I still feel the need to reward myself with food when I have some sort of 'victory'? DUH......I guess so. Is it because I am getting within 2 weeks of that lovely visit from Aunt Flo? - Always have the toughest time with cravings during this time.....could be. Guess I will be exercising my ass off this week.......and hoping for the best.

DAMN IHOP!! (hey if the "Supersize ME" guy can blame McDonalds instead of his own lack of self control, so can I)!!!!

Works for me!

2006-01-27T11:32:00.000-08:00

Well.......lost 1 lb today at WI. Not unhappy with it... a loss is a loss......and after the big one last week, would have been happy to maintain. Had my 'splurge' for the week -- had brunch at IHOP. Was very good, but way heavier than I usually eat, has made me a bit sluggish. Live and learn right??!

11/11 194

11/15 191.2

11/23 187.2

11/29 186.8

12/09 182.6

12/16 180.4

12/23 177

12/30 175.8

01/06 174.6

01/13 173.8

01/20 169

01/27 168

38 lbs to go. Doesn't sound like so much with 26 gone! See you next week if not before ; )

YAY!!! Finally :)

2006-01-20T09:06:00.000-08:00

Had a very nice WI today: 4.8 gone!!! Needed to see that exercise will really help me.......how motivating!!!

11/11 194

11/15 191.2

11/23 187.2

11/29 186.8

12/09 182.6

12/16 180.4

12/23 177

12/30 175.8

01/06 174.6

01/13 173.8

01/20 169

It's an ugly cold rainy winter day today.......but not for me!!! I'm celebrating -- go me!!

Actually exercised...

2006-01-14T11:51:00.000-08:00

...for the whole week. Only lost .8 at weigh in, which was kind of a bummer -- started Walk Away the Pounds series (2 mi) did it every day this past week. Oh well.......can start to see the difference in the way my clothes fit (or should I say don't really fit.....)
Anyway here is my progress thus far:

11/11 194.0

11/15 191.2

11/23 187.2

11/29 186.8

12/09 182.6

12/16 18.04

12/23 177.0

12/30 175.8

01/06 174.6

01/13 173.8

Disappointed that my past 3 weeks have only averaged around a pound per week.......but am happy not to have had a gain, and a lb gone is 1 lb closer to my goal then when I started!! Believe it or not...actually starting to look forward to my workouts......getting ready to buy some more DVD's so I can mix it up. Total gone: 20.2 -- yay~

Well, it's that...

2006-01-06T11:03:00.000-08:00

...time again. Weighed in this morning, lost 1.2 for the 2nd week in a row. I did hit my first 10% today.....so that is pretty nice :) Now to get serious about exercise!! I promised myself that when I hit 10% gone, that I would get really into exercising.....so time to put my money where my mouth is!!! (((HELP!!!))) I CAN DO IT!!

11/11 194.2

11/15 191.2

11/23 187.2

11/29 186.8

12/09 182.6

12/16 180.4

12/23 177.0

12/30 175.8

01/05 174.6

19.4 Gone...........44.8 to go. Goal date 06/25/06.

Not to bad...

2005-12-30T10:13:00.000-08:00

Had weigh in this morning. Lost 1.2 which I am happy with, first WI after Christmas -- and not having my greatest week on program.

11/11 194.2

11/15 191.2

11/23 187.2

11/29 186.8

12/09 182.6

12/16 180.4

12/23 177

12/30 175.8

Total of 18.2 gone. 45.8 more to go by my goal of 130 lbs by 06/25/06.

My Fit Day

2005-12-23T17:30:00.000-08:00

Just leaving the link to my page at fitday.com -- Has my food journal etc........yep, still not good at exercising... but had better get started or have a feeling my 'losing' streak might give out on me. Inspiration needed!! Had a huge, heavy, fattening dinner......with pie for dessert. For the first time in a long time, feel no guilt about it -- I journaled everything, and will stick to my points for the week! Hope everyone has a GREAT Christmas!!

WI Today...

2005-12-23T11:41:00.000-08:00

.... down 3.4. Glad to have lost again this week.

11/11 194.2

11/15 191.2

11/23 187.2

11/29 186.8

12/09 182.6

12/16 180.4

12/23 177

Total of 17 lbs gone so far. 47 more to go!

Thought for the Day

2005-12-22T09:26:00.000-08:00

Ever just have random thoughts? DUH!! Guess we all do .......... but I mean weird random thoughts! Like the one I just had: HOW DO YOU GROW SEEDLESS WATERMELONS?? OK, keep in mind that it is 3 days until Christmas, and cold outside. First of all, why am I even thinking of watermelons?? Secondly, who cares how you grow them (except, well.....if they're truly SEEDLESS, where do you get the seeds to grow them??). Perhaps I am just bored......or maybe I am trying to put off starting the bulk of housework I need to get done....it is my 1st of 3 days off....yes...have to work on Christmas - but that's a whole other can of worms.

Anyway, that's my thought for the day. Special aren't I?? See you tomorrow with WI results!

Happy Happy Joy Joy

2005-12-16T12:16:00.000-08:00

Well...........was worried about WI as started T-O-M. But weighed in at 9:30 this morning and: -2.2!! YAY!

11/11 194.2

11/15 191.2

11/23 187.2

11/29 186.8

12/09 182.6

12/16 180.4

Total gone = 13.6 . I'm happy with that.........only 50.4 lbs left to go!! Hope to be there by 6/25/06. Need to lose approx. 2 lbs per week to do that. I CAN do this!! Went to lunch with my oldest son and daughter, then to an open air mall for about an hour. Spent all that time in Barnes and Noble (love that store!!). I only got one gift bought....ugh.....but had a really nice time :)

Just some thoughts...

2005-12-11T12:32:00.000-08:00

My post today is not about ME, not about being depressed, not about starting to actually feel better about myself -- this post is dedicated to my husband of 20 years; Mark.

My husband makes me mad A LOT!! He doesn't listen to me most of the time, and it drives me crazy. He curses way to much, and he makes embarrassing comments in public. He talks WAY to much! He lies a lot. He just noticed that YES he really is going bald! It is hard to tell if he is actually going to do what he commits to do, be it fixing my dryer hose (been without hot water for 6 mos. now) or the kitchen drawer that snagged my favorite Chiefs shirt, or fixing the light switch in the kids' bedroom.....you get the picture. He is at Wal Mart, and has called me three times since I started this post, because he can't find the bisquits he wants....and the lunch meat....and oh yeah! is it OK if I buy a new water jug for work, it's five dollars. Yep, he does a lot of things wrong.

This is the same man that tells me I am beautiful and means it. He overlooks my moodiness (yes....TOM coming again soon) instead of getting annoyed with me. He loves his children and I with all of his heart. He took me out last night for dinner, just because he hadn't been able to for so long -- this after working a 10 hour day of overtime, actually today is his first day off in weeks, and he is shopping for dinner. He recently bought me a beautiful new wedding ring set, nevermind that we all needed new underwear. He always has a kind word for everyone. The little girls next door draw him pictures, and write him notes, taping them to our front door, just because they see in him what I so often times overlook; kindness, someone who thinks that even though they are only 'the little girls next door' that they are always important enough to have a word with, someone who will help anyone he can, many times at his own expense. Someone who is truly kind and loving.
He doesn't have as much schooling as many men, he doesn't use fancy words, and he can't spell for shit. This man above all has given me 4 wonderful children, all special, all unique, all caring and loving individuals.

I think it is about time I start thanking God that he has choosen to bless me with this individual. What more could I ask for? Thank you God. Thank you for blessing me with this man who is just crazy enough to make me smile, and who chooses to love me as much as he does, despite all my short comings, and there are to many short comings to list... Thank You from the bottom of my heart.

Go me....Go me.....

2005-12-09T09:46:00.000-08:00

...doing the happy dance!!! Finally got to weigh in for the week: down 4.2 lbs!! So nice to see after only going down .4 last week! I know for me this probably means not a great loss next week.....but once again, I am busy being happy about this week!!

11/11 194.2

11/15 191.2

11/23 187.2

11/29 186.8

12/09 182.6

Down a total of 11.4. Didn't get to weigh in in a timely manner this week: tons of snow in the snow storm kind of put a damper on weighing in, but was worth the wait........we'll have to see how waiting 10 days effects next WI.

Vote for Gigglechick!!!

2005-12-05T17:09:00.000-08:00

Fitday.com

2005-12-02T04:00:00.000-08:00

I have started using Fit Day, and for a free service, really like what it offers. It takes a little time to put in your foods etc. , but hey, on WW I journal anyway. I have included the link, in case anyone is interested. I have been using it since 11/26, and like the comparison charts etc. Have a nice day all : )

WI after Thanksgiving....

2005-11-29T08:08:00.000-08:00

..well, I didn't gain!! I lost .4. I'll take it, have to admit, would have liked it to have been more, BUT a loss is a loss and I'll take it!! Now down 7.4 lbs.

11/11 194.2

11/15 191.2

11/23 187.2

11/29 186.8

Only 56.8 to go : ) I know, I know, sounds like a lot even to me -- but I will get there!! I would like to be 130 by June 25th 2006. So, if I start exercising like I should, shouldn't be a problem losing those 1.91 lbs per week needed to do it!!

Cold here --duh--hope everyone has a great day : )

Wooooo Hoooooo

2005-11-23T11:21:00.000-08:00

Well.........weighed in at 9am, and I am down 4 lbs!!!! Total of 7 now. I am happy to say that I made it through my son's birthday party with no damage! Now to tackle Thanksgiving tomorrow! I was on a downer yesterday, and feeling really 'fat', but have to admit that I have stayed on program...and decided that I had better take the nap I so badly needed. After an hour nap felt much better, and yes!! so happy to have actually lost this week!

11/11- 194.2

11/15 -191.2

11/23 -187.2

Wooo hooo 7 down, quite a few more to go........but busy being really happy about the 7 gone!!

Checkin' in

2005-11-22T08:13:00.000-08:00

Have to work today, then from 1:30 until midnight tomorrow -- but very glad to have Thanksgiving off this year!! Talk about procrastinating........I still have to go buy everything for my Thanksgiving day meal........and it is also my son's birthday on Thursday......lol.....need some real inspiration to stay op with WW this week!!! So far so good...........Ashley and I are going to weigh in at 9:00 a.m. tomorrow morning -- hope it comes out good!!!

Tired Day

2005-11-18T18:12:00.000-08:00

Today is a tired day! I am usually a little tired after I return to work for my 8 days on, but more so than usual today. Of course, I am being visited by Aunt Flo ( I know, I know...to much info.) so that may have something to do with my feeling of lethargy.

Well...I made it through the birthday party without to much damage. Friday is the end of my ww week, and with the help of all my flex points made it.....barely..lol. Hope the scales are kind on Wednesday morning when I weigh in.

Guess What???

2005-11-15T12:44:00.000-08:00

Well......Ashley and I had to weigh in at WW today (which sucked because it has only been 4 days since we started opposed to the full week). She lost 2.4 and I lost 3 lbs!!! I have stayed on program, but was worried since it was such a short time period......but am very pleased with the results!!

11/11/05 194.2

11/15/05 191.2

Now my youngest son's birthday is actually on Thanksgiving this year, but we are celebrating it a week early on Thursday....and of course he wants to have it at the Pizza Parlor (which is the DEVIL). But, guess we'll see what kind of stuff old mom here is made of!!! The other challenge being that we won't weigh in again until next Wednesday, so will be 8 days.....hopefully that will be a help and not a hinderence! Wish me luck!!

I am actually feeling.....

2005-11-13T21:02:00.000-08:00

....pretty darn good about myself! I have been a very good girl for 3 whole days now....I know, might not mean much to some...but I feel good! With all my depressing and whining posts, figured a little positive energy couldn't hurt. I will be back Wednesday with my Weigh in -- will hopefully be in an even better mood then.

Can't quite explain it, just the fact that I have started something positive for myself has made a huge difference in my entire being these past few days. I am not quite sure of the difference this time (I have tried to lose weight before, succeeded sometimes and others not). I think mostly that I have decided that I am going to succeed this time. PERIOD. I can do this -- yes, of course I have said it before -- but this time I MEAN IT!

See you on Wednesday ; )

HOLY...

2005-11-11T16:13:00.000-08:00

....COW!!!! That would be me. Finally went to Weight Watchers this morning ( I know, I know about time, only nearly a month since I said I was going, but had lots of issues to work out, the biggest being my daughters schedule conflicting with mine--she is my WW buddy). Anyway......I did FINALLY go and am now committed. UGH here is my weight: 194.2 -- UGH!!! This is the most I have ever weighed in my life--keep in mind that I am only 5'2". Oh well.........finally doing something about it. Getting a little depressed can sure add some pounds to certain people who find food comforting!

I will be back by Wednesday if not before to report my progress........won't be quite a whole week since this is
Friday, but from then on will be regularly on Wednesdays. Wish me luck -- could certainly use it!!

T

Visit My Space

2005-10-17T18:47:00.000-07:00

I am fairly new to "myspace.com" but seems like a very interesting place -- neat way to meet people. Check it out!

Well.........

2005-10-15T02:00:00.000-07:00

.......I can't post that I have exercised to any degree, unless going from the basement to the second floor with lots of laundry counts! But can say that I have finally had enough of this, and have committed to going back to Weight Watchers on this coming Wednesday evening. Did it before.........it actually worked, got depressed, quit, gained it back.......plus 5 lbs. I think I will even post my dreaded weigh ins, that should be a sure incentive, if anyone actually reads this! Anyway, if I waited until I could actually tell you I'd exercised to post, still wouldn't be on here.

Today is my daughters 19th birthday. Where does the time go? She has gone from my little baby girl (well, she still is that) to a grown woman. She is one of my best friends, and when I look at her, I know for all of my mistakes, I have done something right. We are going to go to a casino for dinner (huge buffet that she has wanted to visit forever). HEY........WW doesn't start til Wednesday! It is 2am, so guess I will hit the hay. On work weeks, I would be getting up in 30 minutes.

*Today was a beautiful day, won't be very many more days this way as fall overcomes -- the trees are just starting to change, and it really is beautiful.

Will Someone Please....

2005-10-03T23:19:00.000-07:00

...kick my ass!!! NO.......didn't get a walk in yesterday......or today! Why can't I get motivated? Any suggestions?

Ummmmmm back to the Chiefs.......well, unfortunately can't say we went to 3/1.......have to settle for 2/2. But feel much better about this past game. We showed some real heart........started out with a bang in the first half, then just sort of fizzled out. Eagles made some good adjustments, and by the time we started to adjust to them, it was to little to late. Oh well.......like I said, showed some heart, and at least half the game showed what we are capable of.

I have only one more day off, then back to the old grind. Guess I had better make the most of tomorrow, and hope I can get on here and say: "Guess what??? I actually exercised!!" We shall see, not overly impressed with myself in that arena at the moment......but have to start somewhere right??

T

I'm BAAAAAAACK

2005-10-01T14:16:00.000-07:00

I have to say, I am doing much better at visiting my blog lately....good for me!

Tomorrow is another Chiefs game, and I am ready. My ranting/hurt feelings time has passed, guess we all have a bad game now and then right? Tomorrow we face the Eagles, and although McNabb is hurting, I think it will be quite a challenge. We do have home field advantage (loudest stadium in the NFL) so looking to move to 3/1 here at home.

I am moved to get my house work done today, so I can have tomorrow completely free....plus have put off the housework for 3 days (I work 8 - 10 hour days, then off for 6). Hubby is starting to give me the "What did you do all day??" look. To his credit, he hasn't actually spoken the words yet.

Something kind of sad; read one of my very best friends blogs today, and she is very busy, so like myself, they were a little far between entries. My point is, she was going through something very painful, and I didn't even know it. She never even shared it with me via the easy 'invite your friends to join' thing that we find in so many of our virtual communities. Guess I haven't been a great friend:( We haven't spoken for quite some time. We have fallen into the 'email every so often/ask about the family/yes I'm still breathing thing.' I moved here to Kansasa City, MO over 2 years ago, and was so delighted that I was going to be near my best friend. Several months after I moved here, she moved about an hour's drive away.....no big deal, what's an hour?? I guess it is quite a lot....as we never see one another anymore.

Something new for me to comtemplate.....when did I get this way?? Was it suddenly, or has it just gradually happened? I am betting on the second, think I just sort of eased into the hermit existence I now think of as normal. AND -- ya know what??? It has not been a good thing!! I am in the worse physical shape of my life. I no longer feel good about myself, when my husband tells me I'm beautiful, I am sure down deep that he is 'just being nice.' I can sometimes(?) be very stubborn, but you know what??? I just this very moment figured out something!! As much as I would like to think it is, it can't be 'everybody else.' I put myself just where I sit today, and it's about Damn time I do something about it!

I am making a promise to myself, the very least I can do is get off my big butt, and get the hell out of the house.......to start, I am going to walk at least 30 minutes per day (actually gonna go outside to do it too!).
I will keep track of operation 'find me' right here on my trusty blog. Wish me luck!! When you are at the bottom, there is only one way to go right?

K (rant) C (rant) Chiefs (rant)

2005-09-27T06:02:00.000-07:00

OK, first off, I am a huge Kansas City Chiefs fan. I mean; I love them, I wanna be the 'team mom' (you know like Mama McNabb - though I would do it because I really want to do it....don't need no Chunky soup deal either!)

Anyway, last night broke my heart. Not only did they lose at Denver AGAIN, they did it very badly. Chiefs played with absolutely no heart! To them I say: "What the hell happened?" Now everyone out there is going to be doing the old "I told you so" thing again. It is not so bad to lose to a good team, it is going to happen -- but no offense -- from the 'best offense in the league'???
No defense -- from the 'newly revamped, ass kicking defense'??? The penalties, the fact that you laid down and let them have the game--that is what hurts. If you don't have the heart to do it for yourselves.......do it for the fans!

As I mentioned, I am a fan -- just a little pissed off right now that you would cheat us out of the game we deserved! Had you played the game you should have, even had you been defeated, at least it we could all look back and say: Well, it was a good game. C'mon -- on Monday night?? Monday night?? - For all the nation to see. You have embarrassed yourselves, you have embarrassed us.

I am the fan that stays through the entire game. I would never think of leaving 'to beat traffic'. I am the fan that stays when you are winning and when you are losing, should I have the priviledge to attend a game at Arrowhead. I am the fan that screams my head off to make it the loudest stadium in the NFL (even when I am watching at home much to the disdain of some of my neighbors). My family has a special "CHIEFS" candle that we light at kick off at each and every game you play (hey, we all have our superstitions....). The point I am making in what I hope is a true team mom fashion is: GET OFF YOUR ASSES AND DO THE JOB YOU CAN DO!
If you are doing your best, we will know, win or lose, and we will appreciate!! If you are not, everyone will know, and a few thousand of us will be very disappointed.

I love This Blog!!!--Visit Josie!

2005-09-25T11:36:00.000-07:00

2005-09-24T16:42:00.000-07:00

Me with my daughter Ashley on her Senior Prom night

A month + 5

2005-09-24T07:42:00.000-07:00

Wow, It has been a month and five days since I have posted anything. So much for good intentions! Cannot be sure that anyone will ever pay any attention to this, other than myself, but that is no excuse to get so lax. After all, I am worth keeping up with something I started, even if it is just for me!

I have found some wonderful blogs, some very talented, some very soulful, and some just trying to find themselves. I think I fit mostly into the last category that I just mentioned. But, perhaps on my journey I will achieve some of that talent and soul, perhaps I already possess these things, but have yet to find them, or maybe, I simply lack the self confidence, or good self image to realize them at this time.

I have little and much to say, and I will be back within the week to update.

Do You See Me?

2005-08-20T17:20:00.000-07:00

Do you see me when the sky is blue?
Do you see me when the sky is smoky gray?
Do you see me when I'm mad or sad?
Do you see me today?

You've been gone for oh so long,
but memories are strong.
I missed you then, I miss you now,
I'll miss you til I'm gone.

Do you now wear angels wings?
Perhaps that's not your style.
I can see you in my mind;
Fishing! (with a smile.)

I hope that Jesus shares the prayers
I say, as you and he walk.
Because sometimes when times get
tough, I really need to talk.

Today I'm sad, missing you Dad, but know
I'll be OK.
The sun is shining through the clouds.
Do you see me today?

I Thought of You Today

2005-08-19T12:44:00.000-07:00

I thought of you today,

as I have so many times before.

It was strange, I haven't

done that for sometime.

I thought of you today,

I wondered how you are?

Truth be told, I try not to think

of you, but sometimes do.

I have wished many times over

that I could just erase you.

The way that you have erased

me, was it that simple? That easy?

I believed in you, thought you

believed in me. I was wrong,

suddenly, you were gone and

I was left alone.

I felt such pain, though it has

eased, it has never entirely

gone away.

I guess such is the price of love,

is it worth it - who's to say?

Though you are gone, want you

to know;

I thought of you today.